Thursday, December 31, 2009

Ruh-Roh




Have you ever wondered why the Patriots mascot has always looked so happy? Was it the three super bowls? Because Tom Brady is the Pats qb? Or is it because he enjoys paying hookers for sex. If you picked the last one, you'd be correct.

According to this NBC news channel link, the mascot likes his hookers.

I'm Out Bitches


Look at my future scars!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

I Hate My Life

Our government is only as strong as its people are smart.

And that’s why grocery shopping depresses me.

You see, once a week or so I'll have a need for a variety of items that can only be bought at one type of store. A grocery store. On one hand I view it as a scavenger hunt, so that part’s not depressing. The saddening part is the checkout lane.

I don’t know much about retail, but I know that the area immediately adjacent to the register is the most valuable area in the store, because that is where people make their impulse buys. So stores need to fill it with stuff that grabs peoples attention. Stuff they want to buy

So each week I stare at that space.

And that’s where and when I get sad.

Because what people are buying is telling them the following:

Jessica Simpson is on the verge of a nervous breakdown because Tony Romo dumped her.

George W. Bush is suicidal because an Alien ate his dog.

And Whitney is exploding at Oprah because Oprah doesn't have the crack she likes.

And those were just the tabloids.

On the right of me was all the food that has caused our current health care crisis.

So the things that sell best are the things that make us fat and the things that make us stupid.

The day I’ll be optimistic will be the day that there are impulse oranges on the left of me, and books on the right of me.

Until then, we’ll get the government we deserve.

But really, who am I to judge...I just bought a Milkyway and a National Enquirer.

Former Back Up Goalie Captain?

Washington Capitals web producer Brett Leonhardt tweeted that his Vegas odds for becoming captain of the Washington Capitals now sit at 100,000-to-1.

This is the same 6'7" monster who jumped into action for the Capitals last season when the backup goaltender who had been called up to the roster had his flight delayed. Leonhardt spent about 10 minutes on Washington's bench as the backup goalie before the call-up arrived.

Now I'm not sure if those ten minutes make him eligible, but god bless. Live the dream my friend, live the dream....

Monday, December 28, 2009

Doctor Appointment

At 9 AM at Fort Meade. Well provide details when I get back.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

More Waitress Please!

This is a great Sunny Mailbag clip.

Green Men???

Funny stuff.

Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock Holmes is brought back to the big screen but can Guy Ritchie deliver the goods?



Robert Downey Jr. has finally found his Captain Jack Sparrow and Guy Ritchie has directed his best film, all from a movie I went into not really knowing what to expect.

Sherlock Holmes looked to be a fun romp, a typical Christmas blockbuster that would entertain me, but nothing more.

Downey’s performance here reminds me of what Johnny Depp accomplished with his lead role in the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy. Holmes is not completely over the top, but Downey takes this legendary character and turns him into his own unique adaptation. He is eccentric, observant and, at times, extremely introverted, yet through the entire movie he was the one constant thing that kept me glued to the screen.

Sherlock Holmes is not the stoic detective many believe him to be. In the novels, he is known to utilize illegal drugs, including morphine and cocaine, when investigating cases. He appears to be a slob, living in quarters strung with papers and manuscripts, seeming to live in a state of chaos. He is infatuated with a woman named Irene Adler, the only woman to have ever impressed him. Holmes also never says “Elementary my dear Watson,” which is just as well since he never said it in the stories either. Oh, and in The Sign of Four, it is noted that Holmes is a formidable bare-knuckle fighter and was trained as a boxer.

Guy Ritchie takes all of the above information and strings it throughout his Sherlock Holmes tale and it is clear to me that, while it may seem strange on the surface, most of what is shown in the film is distinctly Sherlock Holmes, as written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. The movie might also find critics who don’t like the supernatural aspects of the case Holmes is working, but the supernatural has also been explored in the stories, specifically in Hound of the Baskervilles.

At its heart, Sherlock Holmes is an old fashioned detective story. I was taken aback when the first scenes in the movie have Holmes stopping a ritualistic murder and arresting the serial killer. When the killer is unmasked, I had an instant vision of Scooby Doo that almost killed the movie for me before it ever got started, but thankfully Downey Jr.’s performance saved it and the rest of the movie picked up.

Dr. Watson, a man who loves his partner and will do anything for him, but needs to break away and find his own place in the world. It is not an origin story and begins after the two have had numerous cases together. This helps the movie find its footing and not get bogged down in the past. It doesn’t matter what kind of cases the two have worked on before because they bring us into their world, almost like an old married couple.

There is also a cliffhanger that proves this is might become a franchise to rival Downey’s Iron Man, as classic Sherlock Holmes adversary Moriarty is always lurking in the background of the film.

Ritchie paints a canvas that is pure, classic Britain but gives the film the pacing and urgency of something much more now. His use of images and symbolism is always on hand, such as a black bird that arrives whenever death approaches. He has learned from his past experiments and this is the film where the director has finally come into his own. The trailers may not be the best example, but this is the perfect Sherlock Holmes film.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Santa Plays Poker?

Not very good obviously.....

Poker Stars $25/$50 No Limit Hold'em - 6 players
The Official 2+2 Hand Converter Powered By DeucesCracked.com

Hero (BTN): $16599.50
Santa Clause: $16576.00
BB: $6616.00
UTG: $5791.50
MP: $5000.00
CO: $5565.00

Pre Flop: ($75.00) Hero is BTN with A Q
1 fold, MP raises to $150, 1 fold, Hero raises to $375, Santa Clause raises to $1100, 2 folds, Hero raises to $2775, Santa Clause calls $1675

Flop: ($5750.00) Q 8 Q (2 players)
Santa Clause checks, Hero bets $1375, Santa Clause raises to $13801 all in, Hero calls $12426

Turn: ($33352.00) 2 (2 players - 1 is all in)

River: ($33352.00) 9 (2 players - 1 is all in)

Final Pot: $33352.00
Hero shows A Q (three of a kind, Queens)
Santa Clause shows 9 8 (two pair, Queens and Nines)
Hero wins $33349.00
(Rake: $3.00)

Mr Zahmat said, "santa can i also have a present like that?"

Movie Review

Trying to decide if I should see Avatar or Sherlock Holmes. Will post review later. I figure I may just flip a coin.

Friday, December 25, 2009

The New Karate Kid



www.flicksandbits.com/?p=680

I may just go for the first hour to watch Will Smith's son get his ass kicked and then just leave. That ought to make it pretty satisfying.

A Look Forward

This year is slowly coming to an anticlimatic end. With that, lets take a second to look back and review.

This year for me was rather uneventful. I spend the majority of it training as a Marine. From boot camp in January to MCT in May to Pensacola in June. I've gone from a fresh recruit to passing a class that has a 75% fail rate and earning my wings in air crew school. The past couple months have been spent home and in Denver. Helping a friend move. Ironically reviewing all that, one would say this year has been a world wind. Up and down all over the place. I dunno, it doesn't seem that way to me.

Recently I have injured my shoulder but in that, I have seemed to find my inspiration to play poker again. If my left rotator cuff will be the downfall of my Marine career which I expect it to be, I will have to move forward with poker.

So with that what do we have on the menu for 2010? Well, I've got surgery to take care and from that I have no idea. That is pretty much the big unknown.

I will find out about that come Monday.